5 Tips for Building Confidence for a First Date


Going out on a first date can be nerve-wracking and maybe even scary. Though it can also be exciting, sometimes our thoughts can run away with us and before long, we are worried about all of the wrong things. If you're going out on a first date soon and you're feeling intimidated or nervous, here are five tips you can follow to build the confidence you need to have a great time. 

Wear something that makes you feel comfortable (and pick it out ahead of time!).

Women are often overly-critical of their outfits, so when you go on your first date, you don't want to be thinking I love this top, but I don't feel great in these pants. Pick something out of your closet that's flattering and feels good on your body. If you can walk into a first date feeling confident in what's on the outside of you, you'll have a much easier time portraying confidence for what's inside as well. 

Pick a venue that you're familiar with, where you'll feel comfortable talking to someone.

First dates initiate lots of anxiety, so pick a place you've been to before; somewhere you'll be comfortable. Whether it's the ambiance, the lighting, or the location, picking out a first date spot is challenging. You'll want to think things through and make a solid decision about where you want to meet up. If you're walking into a place you've been before, you'll be much less anxious about the date. 

Focus on being a great listener. 

When we get nervous or we aren't feeling confident, some of us tend to ramble. If that describes who you are, and you don't want to come off as a "nervous rambler," just focus on being a great listener. Wait for the other person to ask questions about you. Really hone in on getting them to talk about themselves. This will also help those of us who don't feel confident in talking about what we do for a living or "who we are in our spare time." If you let the other person take a bit of the lead, you won't feel so much pressure and you can relax. 

Mentally go over some of your recent accomplishments if you start feeling intimidated. 

Lacking confidence can turn a potentially great first date into a disaster. If you're getting closer to your date and you don't feel worthy, or you're intimidated by the other person, remind yourself of all the great things you've accomplished. You are more than capable of meeting up with someone for drinks. You just nailed that presentation in front of your boss last week! Don't be ashamed of pep talking yourself, it's one of the best things you can do for your self-confidence. 

Relax, it's just dinner!  

Realize that this is just a date! If it doesn't go well, so what? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Putting too much value on a first date can make it seem much bigger than it really is. If there's a connection and you have a great time, wonderful. If not, it's not the end of the world. Walk into your date with the confidence to handle whatever life throws at you next. After all, you're a woman who's worth it. 

Jennifer Silvershein