Scarcity Mindset Is Causing Us To Settle With Mr. Not-So-Right

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Have you ever tried to get rid of something you don't need, and found you just couldn't do it? If you did, one of the thoughts going through your mind was probably, "Once it's gone, it's really gone, and I won't find a replacement." This is a major symptom of a scarcity mindset, and it's what can lead to people holding onto things they really shouldn't.

Like a relationship that just isn't working.

There Really Are Plenty of Fish in The Sea

Too often we find ourselves staying in relationships that are hurting us because our minds tell us there's no one else out there. We limit our own choices by saying that what we have is our only real option, which then makes us downplay the very real negatives of our current situation. We cling, not because we genuinely think this partner is right for us, but because we're afraid we won't be able to find anything else. Especially not anything better.

Fear is a very real thing, and it can sometimes be hard to grapple with. However, it's important not to downplay problems in your relationship, and not to ignore red flags just because this one has fewer of them than other relationships you've been in. There should be no red flags, and if your partner isn't willing to work on them, it's important to remember that you are not just stuck with them. You can, and should, move on.

You Have The Power To Demand Better

Your relationship shouldn't just be good enough, or not as bad as it could be. Your relationship should be positive, it should be something you want to be in, and it needs to be something you're constantly working on with an equal and a partner. If it's not working, remember that you have the power to leave, and find something better.



Michele Burstein, LMSW